Here, my God!
Ek wil nie meer so sukkel nie.
Dit maak nie saak wat ek doen nie, daar is nie genoeg nie.
Dit gaan nie oor die inkomste nie.
Dit gaan nie oor die uitgawes nie.
Daar is iets fout met my.
You said I won't be ashamed.
You said You will provide.
And we're back to the same old story.
I haven't won anything.
I haven't overcome anything.
Cancelling expenses is lack.
And whether or not I make a million every month, I will still lack.
Why is this?
Why can't I break free from this?
God, this is too much to bear.
I gave it to You yesterday. I asked that you will please change my mindset, because it is clear that I can't.
I'm stuck in this hell of never enough.
No matter how hard I try to get out of it - working, thinking, praying - I'm still right here.
Like quicksand. Or tar.
Father God, please please please help me to break free from this feeling of lack!!
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